all cried out...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I think I cried all the tears possible last night. I had so many things on my mind that I could no longer hold them in. The teas just broke through.

And then I got what I needed. Some 'tough love.'

Sometimes the answer isn't always a comforting 'oh it will be okay.' Sometimes you need to hear the truth. You need someone to go, Don't you realize how blind you are because of the selfish choice you have made to be depressed.

Some may not agree. But in truth for me it is a selfish choice. I spend a good portion of my day wallowing on the 'woe is me.' Instead of doing anything about it. Now if I was being selfish and loving myself, that's a whole different story. That also might even be worth the selfishness. A healthy dose of it of course.

Of course the things that were bothering me are still there. But when I take a step back from them and do my best to use patience and trust as my guides.

I need to stop looking to others for my source of happiness. I'm putting too much on their plate.

I guess I'll figure this all out someday.