no need to look... just keep going.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I feel like a porcupine, being pricked on the inside. Any which way I move I get pricked. Over and over poking myself, beating myself up.

I don't have a path. I just let life take me and I do the best to keep up. I'm not leading, I'm just following, and this is why I always feel not good enough. Just not good enough to take the lead in my own life.

I try to convince myself that what I do is good enough, but it's really not. Not enough for me. Not enough for them. Not enough for anyone.

And so tonight, I sit here, feeling a bit trampled. Mostly by my own doing. Well totally my own doing. My life. My fault. My choices.

Hopefully tomorrow will have some light at the end of the tunnel for me to follow (as usual.)