heavy heart

lately i've just felt heavy hearted. I suppose I should be happy. lots of good things happening in my life. Hope to hear something back about blood tests so we can move forward with our "family", our 10 year anniversary, a vacation is in sight, the holidays, family and friends. But sometimes dark clouds over shadow those good things.

And sometimes the smallest things will set me off.

and leave me gloomy. And sometimes it feels easier to just be that way.

you'd think I'd learn by now that sadness gets me no where. yet I can't shake it.

quiet

Just feeling quiet tonight.... lately... Lots going on in my head, but I don't feel strong enough to share.

Same stuff, just having one of those years... :(

Keep hoping. maybe someday will be good enough. maybe someday the time will be right.

sorry to be cryptic. but I guess it's kind of my style.

not sure anyone reads this much anyway.